Balance. It’s not just standing on one leg in a yoga class. Well, it can be, but in this case, I’m diving deeper in to balancing having a career and having a family that needs you. Finding that balance is something each and every person I know is striving for. In our last few blog posts, Megan and I have examined definitions of words and phrases that are important to us at Haumea - so I will continue that trend and explore how we define balance. Mirriam-Webster dictionary defines balance as to bring into harmony or proportion. In relating this to motherhood, how exactly does one determine the proportion to which she should spend time with family vs career? How do we find harmony in this decision? It is something I am struggling with and I want you all to know that I am always here for you if you want to talk.
I met my husband, Dean, almost two years ago and it has been the most amazing blessing to become a parent to his four children. I was 36 at the time we met - I had spent 8 years living in San Diego in my 20s & early 30s and found myself in Madison for about 5 years before we met. I went to college here, but it was very different moving back as a grown adult. Since meeting Dean and the kids, it has been a constant balancing act. I don’t say this in a negative way at all, but when five very special people enter your life and you’re used to being single and doing your own thing - life really has to shift. I am so grateful for Dean and the kids, but wow, my life has changed SO much in the last two years!
Enter birthing a business and each and every day requires finding that balance of productivity and family time - all while trying not to constantly feel guilty for not checking that last thing off on my to do list or feeling like I’m sacrificing time with Dean and the kids. Megan and I spend most days together gradually chipping away at our to do list. We were talking yesterday and are in full agreement that we are in the final countdown - that last long push before something really great happens. It’s like that last push before finals in college or grad school, the weeks leading up to a wedding, or some other grand event that requires extensive planning. Haumea is a labor of love. A loooong labor! This baby we are birthing has been in the works for almost two years. Megan and I are grinding away at our to do list in preparation for our Grand Opening on March 16th. We are both trying to find balance in the time we spend working on birthing Haumea vs cherished time with our family.
I don’t have any magical advice for finding balance. I struggle with it every day and it seems overwhelming when the to do list is long. For reasons unknown, yesterday was really hard for me. I was anxious and even though I spent the whole day working, I felt like the list just kept getting longer. The kids beat me home and when I arrived, I know they needed me (middle school is HARD!) but I still had work to finish, I needed to take a shower, dinner needed to be made and I had to shovel (darn snow!) and our oldest had Senior Night for Varsity Basketball. I put off writing this blog and am now writing it and 5:30am the day it needs to be posted. The one thing I did find myself doing when I felt overwhelmed was pausing to take big, deep breaths. We forget the power of our breath. I forget the power of my breath. Breathing is something our body automatically takes care of for us, but when we take control of our breath, many powerful things happen. Try to breathe with your whole body - not just the rise and fall of your chest. Feel your belly, chest and lungs expand. Expand both front to back and feel the sides of your body expanding. Deep breathing like this helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which has many benefits, including the ability to calm our nerves. Here is a great article that describes many of the benefits and talks more about diaphragmatic breathing : https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/benefits-of-breathing-deeply/
Breathing deeply does not give you more hours in the day. It doesn’t magically bring balance to your life. It doesn’t shorten the length of the to do list or ease the challenges of parenthood. What it does do is help you find a sense of calm and helps you become more present in those moments that matter most.
Stay tuned for Haumea’s Grand Opening details. I can’t wait to meet each and every one of you. We can venture on this journey of parenthood and finding balance together!
Much love and aloha,